Tobi Time!
by XxSockxAxChickxX
Summary: what happens when a certain akatsuki member DROPS a little visit on the sand sibling? IDK! READ TO FIND OUT! tobi x temari why? because they're the main characters... i think.
1. Chapter 1

Okay here is the story I promised all of you I was going to write…TOBI TIME!

Sorry for not updating but my computer is being a meaner and keeps breaking down.

Chapter 1

Once upon a time, in a cave near the Rain village, there are these dudes (and Konan) known as Akatsuki. And in that organization there was this little boy known as Tobi. Some say he's funny and others say he's evil… except for these people. They think he's a good-for-nothing JACKASS! And on this sunny, beautiful day, Tobi is bored.

(All whiney) Tobi: I'm bored! Deidara-senpai can we play a game. Deidara-senpai. Deidara-senpai. Dei Dei-senpai – OW!

Suddenly Tobi was hit with a (conveniently placed) remote control on the head. The man who (accidentally) hit him was known as Deidara. He is known as the "woman of the all the men" (which is totally absurd) He is a clay addict and likes to sculpt stuff with it.

(Having a **moment) **Tobi: WAH! Deidara-senpai why'd you hit Tobi!

Deidara: Because I can. And how many times did I tell you not to call me Dei Dei…HM!

(In a whiney voice) Tobi: but Tobi **has** to tell you something important.

(Growl) Deidara: fine but this better be good hn.

Tobi: TOBI's BORED!

Deidara: THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED TO TELL ME-

Tobi: -gasp- I KNOW!! LETS PLSY TAG!!

Deidara: the hell I'm going to- ow!

Tobi: YOU'RE IT!

Tobi went running but accidentally stepped on something and went skidding through the hideout until he crashed into the wall.

Tobi: ow… hey look! Dei Dei-senpai it's your art! …. AND IT LOOKS BETTER THAN EVER!!

Deidara: -gasp-

Deidara went running and suddenly, it was as if the world the world stopped turning for a split second, everything went quiet…

(Shyly) Tobi: D-d-Deidara senpai…

Deidara: (growl) I'LL KILL YOU!!!

Deidara threw some of his creations at Tobi, which Tobi dodged at the last minute.

Tobi: Sorry Deidara- senpai, but you're going to have to try a little harder than that.

Suddenly, Tobi tripped over a fish, which happened to be Kisame's girlfriend.

(_Sorry it was just so tempting to put Kisame in the story._)

Kisame: -gasp- Veronica…NO!!

Kisame got veronica very dramatically and sobbed and screamed about why Jesus has deceived him. Then, Itachi came in and put his hand on Kisame's shoulder.

Itachi: Kisame you have to understand relationships come and go. So don't be sad, just, just stand up and take a bow, you're out of your misery.

Kisame: you're right, but it was Tobi who killed my veronica!! I'm going to kill you!!

Deidara: oh no you don't fish face!! He's mine!! After I'm done with him, you can have what's left of him.

Tobi: (excitedly) YAY! TOBI FEELS SO LOVED!!

Deidara: GET BACK HERE!! HM!

Deidara suddenly makes a clay grasshopper like bomb and it jumps directly on Tobi's… let's just it landed where the sun don't shine. He didn't even have time to notice because next thing he knew, he flew across the sky.

Tobi: AHH!! HEY I CAN SEE KONOHA FROM HERE!! OH, LOOK, PEOPLE!!

Tobi waved at the people, who looked really much like ants.

Deidara: NEVER UNDERSETIMATE THE GREAT DEIDARA THE GREAT!!!

At Konoha…

In konoha, there was Ino, Sakura, Naruto, and Hinata walking through the konoha streets until Ino saw a big black thing shooting across the sky… it also looked like it had…hair? And also…waved at her?

Ino: -gasp- look! It's a shooting star!

Sakura: THAT ISN'T A SHOOTING STAR AND HOW CAN THERE BE SOME IN DAYLIGHT DUMMY!!

Ino: oh, hey shut up, billboard brow!

Sakura: Ino-pig!

They both started shooting lightning through their eyes and looked like they were about to make a commotion like yesterday.

Hinata: S-s-sakura, I-I-ino this no time for wasting time we have to report this to lady Tsunadae.

Naruto: Hinata's right we can't be horsing around.

Sakura: (growl) NARUTO!!!

Naruto: (shyly) y-y-y-yes s-s-s-sakura?

Sakura: did you just call me fat?

Naruto: yes-crack I mean no-crack I mean maybe

Ino: Naruto's right you ARE getting fat! –Sakura pushed ino to the side and went after Naruto.

Naruto: OH NO!!

Naruto went running cutting through the konoha, running for his life and for dear god not looking back. He had no idea where he was going but anywhere where sakura isn't there is good enough for him. When he took a quick glance, oh god she was at his feet and he fell on his own feet.

Naruto: OH DEAR GOD NO!!!!

Sakura: YOUR MINE NOW!!!! CHA!!!

Sakura punched Naruto with so much force Suna had an earthquake.

Kankuro: CRAP WHAT WAS THAT!!

Gaara: IT'S AN ATOMIC BOMB!!! CODE RED!! CODE RED!!

Suddenly, it stopped but and everything was quiet but they saw something flying across the sky. It looked like it had a black cloak and had orange on it and it had… clouds…hmm… clouds…black cloak… and the clouds look red… hm- gasp-

Gaara: It's the Akatsuki and I think they're trying to go through our borders by air… GENIUS!!

A suna ninja came barging in through the doors, in a fear state of forgetting to knock first.

OC: sorry lord kazekage.

Gaara: never mind that what's wrong!?

OC: huff… the black thing… looks like it's heading right at your house.

Gaara: but why would they be heading straight at our house if I'm not there…

Kankuro: unless…

Both (Gaara and Kankuro) -gasp- TEMARI!!!

Back at konoha (which they'll probably be at hokage's by now…

Tsunadae: hmm… shooting star you say…

Sakura: (annoyingly) NO!! IT'S NOT A SHOOTING STAR!! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!

Hinata: I saw the figure it looked like as if the thing has a black long coat-

Tsunadae: you mean a cloak

Hinata: u-uh y-y-yes and it had red spots on it…

Tsunadae: hmm… that's quite strange but what can it be… (Grave face) oh no.

Ino: what is it lady Tsunadae? -

Tsunadae: quick, where was it angled?

Sakura: it looked like it was going straight towards suna, why?

Tsunadae: quick, you two ( ino and sakura) go get Sasuke and Chooji, and Shikamaru, tell them to meet you at konoha gates, this is an A- ranked mission.

Both: hai

Hinata: what would you like me to do?

Tsunadae: take care of Naruto, because of sakura, he has a short- termed memory loss and try to make him remember his old self.

Hinata: (blush) All right, come on, Naruto- Kun.

Naruto: who are you?

End of chapter one

Yeah sorry but I decided to make this a short story (you know a 2-3 chapter story)

So while then, REVIEW!!

Please come on, and I'll give you hug… if you want one, if you don't it's alright I understand.

Tiger out.


	2. Chapter 2

Sooooo, I am truly sorry for taking this long. But I have always been online, just not updating. Hopefully I can get my fans to wake up also. I am truly sorry to **Deidarakiller** because I let you down but now it's my turn to make it up to you. And also the rest of you! PM if you guys (or gals) need anything. Even requests! I will try my hardest! On with the story! **WARNING! PROFANITY! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!**

**{Chapter 2}**

**Meanwhile with Tobi…..**

**L(^.^L)**

"WEEEEEEEE-OOMPH!" Tobi yelled out happily as he broke through a roof and landed in a steamy place.

"WOO! TOBI IS SWEATING! GOODTHING THE ROOF BROKE TOBI'S FALL!" Suddenly, he turned around and saw a shocked woman covering herself with the shower curtain.

"Tobi thinks you're very beautiful. What might your name be?" Tobi asked as he was dusting off the rubble off. All was quiet until….

"**AAAAHH! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! STOP LOOKING AT ME!" **Said the tomato- faced woman, getting even redder with every passing second.

"AAH! TOBI IS SORRY! LET TOBI GET OUT!" As Tobi tried to get out, he tripped on the bar soap and fell inside the tub, taking the shower curtain with him. Tobi got up and saw the naked woman and immediately had a nose bleed. Tobi suddenly saw her face turn from embarrassed to angry as hell. If looks could kill, he'd be dead in a blink of an eye that Itachi's sharingan wouldn't be able to see it coming.

"**AAH! PEVERT! GET OUT!" **The woman said as she hurried to get a towel. Once she tied it securely around her chest, she looked evilly at Tobi.

"It's a good thing Tsunade taught me how to focus chakra into my fists on my last visit to the Leaf."

"What is Lily-Chan going to do with Tobi?"

"**MY NAME ISN'T LILY! IT'S TEMARI!" **With that, Temari punched Tobi and Tobi went flying out of the house and into a mildly deserted street at the edge of the Sand Village.

**Meanwhile with Deidara….**

**~(^.^~)**

"Where the hell did that mutt go hm?" Suddenly, Deidara saw Tobi go flying in a mildly deserted street at the edge of the Sand Village.

"There you are hn!" Deidara exclaimed as he rushed toward the street. When he got there, he gracefully jumped off his clay bird.

"Now to finish you off- AAH!" Tobi cut off Deidara as he landed right on Deidara.

"Hey the freak off me and why the hell are you yelling yeah!" Deidara exclaimed as he threw Tobi off him.

"WHY ARE YOU AKATSUKI _**SCUM **_IN THE SAND VILLAGE! WE ONLY HAVE ONE JINCHUURIKI AND YOU GOT HIM ALREADY! WHY THE HELL ARE YOU HERE!" Kankuro spat.

"I will protect my village." Gaara said as he got in his fighting stance, taking out the cork in his gourd.

"Don't flatter yourself. I'm just here to kill this creep yeah." Deidara said grabbing Tobi by his collar.

When suddenly, they all turned around and saw a pissed off Temari land on the street and stomping towards Deidara and Tobi. She pointed a finger at Deidara.

"**WHY ARE YOU HOLDING MY PREY! PUT HIM DOWN! I'M NOT DONE WITH HIM YET!" **Temari yelled out.

Deidara's forehead vein popped out and he turned around ready to give the girl that interrupted him the ugliest glare he had when he noticed…

_She's so beautiful. More than beautiful. I can't explain it but yeah._

"**WHY DO YOU KEEP LOOKING AT ME!"**

"**YEAH! WHY DO YOU KEEP LOOKING AT MY SISTER!"**

"**PLEASE DON'T HAND TOBI TO TEMARI-CHAN!"**

"**GIVE HIM TO ME!" **Temari yelled.

Deidara didn't notice that he was still staring at Temari and that he loosened his grip on Tobi's collar. Suddenly, he felt Temari pull Tobi out of his grip and pull him up by his collar also. She started to channel chakra into her right fist as she got ready to punch Tobi.

"AAH! PLEASE PUT TOBI DOWN! DON'T HURT ME!"

"**NOW YOU'RE GOING TO GET IT!"** As Temari's fist was about to come in contact, she suddenly felt a warm breeze and as she looked down, her eyes widened in horror….

_**Her towel fell off…**_

All passerbyers, Gaara, Kankuro, Deidara, and Tobi looked down.

"What's that daddy?" A little Sand girl said pointing to Temari.

"It's what'll help you make it rain green paper" Her dad said as he looked at what his daughter was pointing at.

"OOH! I WANT SOME OF THOSE!"

_**Suddenly, Sasori walked out of his old abandoned house in the village…**_

"What is all this commotion? Because of you guys my puppet was ruined." Sasori then saw Temari and smirked while saying in a manly voice," Hey, want to go inside and get a closer look at my bed sheets." He said licking his lips.

_**Moment of silence…..then suddenly….**_

"**AAH! STOP LOOKING AT ME! YOU ARE ALL PERVERTS AND WHEN I HAVE SOME CLOTHES BACK! YOU ARE ALL GOING TO GET IT!"**

Finally, Deidara broke out of his trance and quickly covered Temari with his cloak.

"Sorry yeah but I would've done it sooner if you weren't so beautiful." Deidara said truly showing her a genuine smile. Temari blushed at his comment.

Gaara and Kankuro were the second to break out the mind control and pounce on both Tobi and Deidara.

"I WILL ASK ONCE MORE! STATE YOUR BUSINESS!"

"TOBI IS HERE FOR SANCTUARY!"

"FROM WHO?"

"FROM DEIDARA-SENPAI!"

"WHO IS THAT?"

"ME HM!" Deidara said shoving Kankuro off him as he stood next to Temari holding her by her waist protectively.

"WHATEVER GIRLE-HEY! GET YOUR HAND OFF MY SISTER'S WAIST!

"YOU MEAN LIKE THIS YEAH!" Deidara said he pulled Temari closer.

"YOU MOTHA TRUCKER! LET GO OF HER OR ELSE I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!" Kankurao said untying his puppets of his back.

"WITH THOSE DOLLS? SASORI, I CAN SEE WHY THESE DOLLS WERE YOUR FIRST CREATIONS. THEY LACK THE ARTISTIC SIDE." Deidara dodged Sasori's tail.

"Whoa, no need to get feisty yeah! But I think it sucks, if you can't take friendly suggestions, then you're no true artist yeah"

"Says the one who blew up his own partner for complimenting his art!"

"SHUT IT! HM! SINCE WHEN DO YOU COME HERE! YOU SAID YOU HATED THE HEAT!"

"Ever since I found out they put up a puppet business, "Sasori said," although I never said this kind of heat." Sasori looked straight at Temari with a hint of lust.

"Yeah and hey! She's mine yeah!"

_**Suddenly, Leaf ninja came and got in their fighting stances…**_

"Who are you?" Deidara said with a questionable look on his face. (AN: kinda like this O.o)

"We're allies of the Sand and we're here to stop you akatsuki!" Sakura said with determination.

"Yeah we've heard it before." Sasori said turning his back to them.

"HEY! WE'RE TALKING TO YOU GUYS!" Sakura said taking a step closer to Sasori then suddenly taking that step because Sasori glared at her with a killing intent.

"AND WE JUST TOLD YOU WE'VE HEARD IT BEFORE! YEAH!" Deidara said glaring at pinkie.

"AND TEMARI! YOU BETRAYED YOUR COUNTRY AND JOINED THE AKATSUKI!" Sakura screeched.

"What? No!"

"THEN WHY THE FUCKING CLOAK!"

"NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS FOREHEAD! HN!"

"He told you forehead brow!"

"Shut it pig! At least I don't look like a criminal."

_**For ten minutes, Sakura and Ino just kept while the others stared annoyed.**_

"So Temari, mind telling us what happened?"

"Sure Shika-Kun!"

"Sigh Troublesome."

_**ONE HOUR LATER…**_

"And that's what happened."

"OHH!" All the leaf village ninja said in unison.

They hear someone clear their throat and all turned to see the great Kazekage standing with his arms folded.

"Temari, go home and change. And Sakura, go home. Clearly no one wants you here." Gaara said in his monotone voice.

"Yeah because Temari and I have a date later yeah." Deidara said smirking.

**NORMAL POV**

So all the Leaf ninja decided to go home as they were not needed anymore. Sasori went back into his house with Kankuro close behind to learn the way of the Sasori. Gaara went back to work on paperwork. And Deidara and Temari you ask? Why! They are at a fancy restaurant having the best of times. All is good and well until….

"I'm so glad you said yeah hm," Deidara said, obviously nervous.

"I'm glad a hunk like you asked me," Temari said making Deidara choke on his water. Before Deidara could say anything, their waiter came.

"Is there anything else you would like?" The waiter asked.

"No we're good hm," Deidara said not taking his eyes off of a blushing Temari. When suddenly, they heard a loud crash and screaming in the kitchen. Then the doors burst open and out cam a flying Tobi onto their table, knocking everything on the table onto Temari and Deidara's lap.

_**Silence for a couple minutes until…**_

"I'LL GET YOU TOBI! YEAH!" Deidara yelled throwing Tobi out a window onto the empty dark streets of the sand village. He turned to Temari and gave her a kiss on her hand. "until next time my love yeah. I promise I'll come back to see you in a week. Let me deal with this idiot first hm." Deidara said about to jump out the window when Temari grabbed him the back of his collar and kissed on the lips for a few seconds before pulling back.

"For motivation to help you come back quicker. There might be more where that came from if you finish quick." Temari said smirking.

"You don't have tell me twice yeah," Deidara said activating a clay bird and going after an already running Tobi. Just as Temari was about to exit the restaurant…

"Excuse me but who will pay for this damage?" The waiter said holding his hand out.

"Umm, you can out it on- RUN!" Temari screamed running out of the restaurant, leaving the waiter in a pure oblivious state.

"Sigh dammit. I knew I should've gone and trained under Orochimaru." The waiter said picking up the broken plates. He turned around and came face to face with Sasori of the Red Sands. "What do you want? Are you going to make a mess too?"

"Actually yes because I HATE YOUR FACE AND I'VE BEEN WAITED TO GET SEATED FOR 31 MINTUES! THE SIGN SAYS I HAVE TO WAIT ONLY 30 MINTUES!"

_Oh kami. Please make me feel no pain as I am beat to a pulp._

**MEANWHILE AT A SPIRITUAL DOMAIN….**

"Hey kami, this guy is asking if you can make him not feel any pain while he is beaten to a pulp. Should we do it?" Said a random servant of Kami.

"No." Kami said.

The End.

Hopefully you enjoyed the story and REVIEW! I will be motivated! Going to try and start updating my stories now!


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